A costly Blackberry alternative

Whether you’re job hunting, self- or otherwise employed, networking at a conference or just trying to hook up at a bar, you need a BlackBerry or other smart phone.

OK, picture this: You’re at a job interview and your future employer removes the cigar from his (or her) mouth and growls, “We’d like to have you back in here to meet with Bill Jenkins, our VP of Marketing. What’s your schedule like next Thursday?” Then you whip out your paper-based planner (I gave you this link so you know what not to buy). Or worse, you reach into your bag and emerge with a homemade booklet of month-view Outlook print outs that you stapled together. You’re not getting that job. Why? Your paper planner broadcasts any or all of the following about you, none of which is what you want to convey during a job interview: I’m technically challenged…I’m behind the times…I’m counterculture…I’m not going to be able to keep up in my job…I’m a cheap son-of-a-bitch…I’m poor.

My friend Dave finally explained in compelling language why I should get cable: “You’ve got to get cable,” he said. I wasn’t convinced, so he continued: “There are hundreds of channels! How many do you have now? Seven?” He also explained that I was, in fact, the only one in the world left without cable. “What do you do Mondays when everyone’s talking about last night’s episode of 24? You don’t even know who Jack Bauer is!”

A week after I got cable I found myself dialing Dave. “Hundreds of channels, huh? 95% of them are either in a foreign language and/or suck!” I protested. “I know,” he replied without delay. “You still had to get cable”.

I’m not sure why I was holding out on cable. Maybe it was avoidance of the monthly expense or an attempt to read more. Regardless, ten years later I am the dubious owner of a BlackBerry—it’s blinking red light a beacon of hopelessness. Unlike with cable, I know exactly why I don’t want this technology in my life: It sucks my time and attention and has an app that makes me walk into oncoming traffic. Not to mention, it doesn’t work (T-Mobile). But Dave was right again. I had to get a BlackBerry.

To be relevant, you need a BlackBerry. Get one. Get comfortable using it. It’s like your resume or your tie. When you walk into a job interview you need to have it with you. Just make sure to silence it. And if you’re planning to see the same movie I am later that day, please keep it silenced.